Falling In Love

The first time I read the cards for my husband, he wasn't my husband yet. He had just begun to fall in love with me, and I was already putting up a fight against the notion that he could possibly be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. At that time, I reassured myself I would soon find and marry the man who I dreamed would bring out the best in me, but my dream did not align with the person falling for me before my eyes, with every word I spoke, as though I cast a spell on him. I will not count the ways he differed from my vision of the perfect husband, but I will say I kept myself from falling in love with him by faultfinding and simply closing my heart to him. He saw me for who I was and accepted me; a recognition fired between our souls, something people search for over decades and sometimes never open themselves up to at the same time. I kept telling myself he was just another guy who had fallen for me, and I was just his way of filling the hole in his spirit. No matter how many times I told myself that, it didn't feel right.

The first reading I gave him pointed to me as changing his life. I tried to say the cards referred to someone else, another Queen of Wands who would light the fire of achievement in him and help him reach his full potential in life, but not me. He knew I was bluffing. If I had been entirely honest to him and myself, I would have thrown down my emotional armor then and there to leap into his arms.

A year and a half after this reading, my subconscious mind finally sent me the clearest message; I dreamed about my husband three nights in a row.

He wasn't the first person I had a sense of presence with, but he is the first I ever dreamed about in that way. He's not going to be the last person I fall in love with, but he's the only person I have found so far that I can see myself growing old with. His love is the sweetest because we have continuous moments of recognizing our higher selves in each other, when our minds fall away and we bask in each other's presence. Our relationship only becomes stronger as we share this presence with other people and fall in love with the world around us.

Have you ever felt another person's true presence, where the chatterings of the mind fall away, and you look into each other's eyes and see the awareness within them, and you feel they are sensing the awareness within you?

image credit: http://www.leehansen.com/clipart/Holidays/Valentine/images/heart-o-hearts.gif

FYI: Ten Tips for Tarot Readers (Including myself)

This started as a list of things I would tell my ten years ago. Then I realized I had information that I was lucky to find out early on, or that I instinctively knew, but that I still want to share with other readers. This doesn't mean I follow these 100% of the time; they are ideals I strive for, but I am human, too. In a way this list has become 10 things I remind myself. Blessings to you for reading (and possibly commenting?).

1. Don't take it personally. People have a strong reaction to divination in general, and tarot specifically. Whether this strong reaction is positive or negative, keep a cool head, keep your emotions lovingly detached; remember you are just the messenger. Not everyone will appreciate your gifts appropriately. When your gifts are over-appreciated, don't start to think this makes you better than others: it doesn't. We all have different talents. Detach from the feelings of emotional pain, and remember everyone is on a learning path.

2. Avoid a sense of competition with other readers. Readers have varying styles and varying levels of experience. Don't be afraid to refer people to other readers in the area if you feel the seeker would be more compatible with them. If they decide not to read with you, refer to (1.)

3. Inform the seeker as much as possible about your reading style. Not every seeker will know to ask you, or even that it's okay to do so. Describe your style clearly and openly, (e.g., by saying "I am an intuitive tarot reader with both practical insight and claircognizance, a psychic gift.") explaining any terms the seeker may be unfamiliar with. There is nothing wrong with setting a fee, even if the fee starts small, or you trade with friends, or you insist on trading exclusively.

4. Always ask before you read for someone. If you can read people without your cards, work on shielding. Do not volunteer information you get in flashes of intuition. This can potentially scare or alienate people (see tip 8). If the person you would read for is not present, attempt to contact their spirit for permission. If you do not feel confident you have gotten an answer, try asking a question that has more to do with your relationship (or the seeker's relationship) to that person.

5. Embrace your gifts with loving gratitude. No one else is obligated to hold space for you where you appreciate all that you are. If you have someone who does, count yourself lucky. Show yourself loving gratitude by using your gifts, spending time with your cards, and taking care of yourself. Ground and center, open your crown chakra, and explore the world as you see it.

6. You are a Divine Being, and so is everyone else. No one life form is any more or less important than any other. Each one's experience and perspective are unique.

7. Read with compassion in your heart. Compassion will shine through you in your readings if it has a home in your heart. Cultivate compassion by practicing radical acceptance. This in turn will reinforce your intuition.

8. Try your best not to scare people. Fear may be a strong motivator for people to change, but feeding fear only adds to the negativity in the world. Your readings will be more productive if they positively encourage the seeker into action. Study counseling techniques and methods to gather knowledge on breaking 'bad news' and giving people gentle reality checks when the need arises.

9. Recharge with meditation. Meditate any time you are able. Create time to meditate. Find new ways to meditate. Meditation is broadly the practice of being at one with yourself. The more you practice this awareness, the closer you will get to being there all the time. The more self aware you are, the more easily you will be aware of others, and the more easily you can give your seekers accurate readings.

10. Give every reading as a Divine gift. This is not necessarily changed when a fee is associated with your readings; if you focus too much on the money, however, the reading is corrupted. If you are unable to enter a non-judging, clear-viewed mental and spiritual space for the reading, do not hesitate to reschedule the reading for another time.

An Example Reading.

One of the most helpful ways of checking in with my higher self has been to read on my strengths and challenges. I shall demonstrate here, with a reading to myself.

It's difficult to read for myself, and in the case of a very important question I will often call on friends to trade readings with because it's hard to remain objective when you're in the middle of the question at hand. However, looking at strengths and challenges is a good way to gain insight and assignments for improvement and meditation.

In this reading I will look specifically at the context of my work as a tarot reader.

Strengths: VI The Lovers.
This card embodies all the passion we could possibly generate reflected in and reciprocated from another person. In our innate and natural harmony, we contain the other, and therefore there is no real other, only other manifestations of divinity. Understanding suddenly manifests when we realize the 'other' is a reflection of the same divine energy that we ourselves belong to. Here relationships grow and heal, compassion springs forth, and paradise thrives. The more I seek to understand myself, the more I understand others. The more I seek to understand others, the more I understand myself. This sense of harmony bridges gaps and chasms. My strength is that I know this and can share this knowing with others.

I love my work. I love being able to hold a mirror up to people and show them that the answers are waiting within them, for them to discover. I love to open doors for people, so they may easily enter into a blessed awareness of the divine within.

Challenges: I The Magician Reversed